Thursday, July 29, 2010

No Proposal?

So I'm getting ready this morning, making myself beautiful for countless more hours of professional development before the school year actually begins when, on Channel 13, I hear something about "The Bachelor", and a promised "shocking conclusion". *gasp*

Mind you, I do not watch "The Bachelor" because I believe it to be a complete waste of time, not to mention just a bunch of grasping young woman who are either a) totally naive and believe they will fall in love in a mere couple of months, or b) hookers. Just my opinion.

However, I found my ears pricking up a little at the story because what could actually be more shocking or scandalous than what is generally on the show? Apparently--hang on to your hats, people--THE BACHELOR MIGHT NOT PROPOSE! Is this really that shocking? I know that he's supposed to follow through with a proposal according to his contract, but don't the vast majority of these couplings not end up working out anyway? Why is it a bad thing that he could possibly want to date a little longer? When did it become the thing to rush into something like marriage? And how is this show even still on??

Well, thinking about the bachelor's promised non-proposal led me to think about my own proposal, and that made me smile because Joe really did it well. He kept it relatively private (just the two of us at the top of the Ferris wheel). He set the stage (rushing me--a bit conspicuously, maybe--to said Ferris wheel before we could even order food). He told me he loved me (that part went much faster than I had envisioned). He put the ring on my finger (I snatched it out of the box before he could lift it out himself, and slid it on so I could watch the light beam off of it). We were ready.

The point, you ask? Good question. The bachelor sucks, and my hubs rocks.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


All right. Some of the dishes in the sink were mine.

Not that I was told to post this. Not at all...

Monday, July 26, 2010


Disaster. Everywhere!

Disaster struck in the sink, where dishes and cups that hid out in their cupboards leapt into my sink as if they had always been there. According to Joe, it is not his doing. Since I know it is not my doing, it must be the fault of our cutlery and dishware. I keep imagining my stemware dancing around like Mrs. Potts and Chip the cup from Beauty and the Beast, and while it puts a much needed smile on my face, I have to admit that something's rotten on Regency Square. And its the insane amount of dishes we continue to pile up despite our efforts to "clean as we go".

Disaster then struck my best laid food plans, too, on the very first day of Weight Watchers. I weighed in (1.5 pounds down from the last time I weighed in there) and left feeling renewed and ready to begin my new and healthy life. Then something unbelievable happened. We went to Brio for mom's birthday, where I was forcefed artichoke spinach dip on crusty flatbread and fried tomatoes nestled under buttery mouthfuls of salmon against my will. Against my will, I tell you!

When I say "against my will" I mean it. Joe asked me what I was going to get, and when I told him, he said, "Yeah, that sounds really good." Utterly diabolical. It's like he knew. Anyway, since I screwed dinner up so badly, I barely had any fight in me left by the time dessert came. Molten chocolate cake with vanilla bean gelato. Seriously, are the stars just totally aligned against me?!

I ate it. Every juicy, delicious, rich, buttery, creamy delightful bite. God help me.

Saturday, July 24, 2010


Okay, so today I re-started weight watchers. I need to look sexy for my man, if ya know what I mean (wink, wink...nudge, nudge...). But beyond that, I'm tired of the yo-yo. Tired of the "fat days" we girls so often wrestle with. There was a time I was over 200 pounds, and I vowed to myself after losing 50 pounds three years ago that I would never let myself go there again. And not because I don't believe you can be larger AND sexy AND look really really great. It's just that, for me, my lifestyle just became so much more active when I shed a good bit of the weight. My life felt...well...fuller than when I was fuller-figured. So here I am. Again,

Now, about eight months before the wedding, I did join Weight Watchers with one of my bridesmaids and my bridesman. They were both very successful. I gained and lost the same three pounds the entire time. Clearly my head wasn't entirely in the game.

Joe doesn't push me to lose weight at all, and for that I am eternally grateful. However, I strongly suspect that he might mind a teensy little bit if I let myself get totally out of hand. And let's face it, with all of the cheese and bread and yummy cream sauces out there, I run a very realistic risk of hurdling out of control. I mean, fettucine alfredo makes me literally want to weep in ecstasy. The mere thought of a bagel broiled with butter and loaded with garlicky cream cheese will elicit Pavlovian slobber almost immediately.

So, with that in mind (and the fact that I have gained fifteen pounds since meeting Joe), I am really going to try to work this program. Send skinny success vibes my way. Pretty please, with Splenda and flax seed on top?

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Big Idea

So welcome to the Cuckoo's Nest!

This is a big year for me. After years of dating and dating and DATING, I finally found the right guy for me--Joe. And he's an awesome guy. I have been assured by many that I feel this way because I'm a newlywed, and being "newly wed" is supposed to be a huge experience. Sometimes I can gain perspective on the magnitude of the situation, but I have to be honest here. Married life feels a whole lot like Living Together Life. Except now he's legally bound to stay with me.

We tied the knot on June 5th, 2010. It was a gorgeous ceremony, but then again, I might be biased.

When I try to imagine what this blog could potentially be, it encompasses a lot more than just marriage. It will most likely cover everything topical to my life, which in turn, will undoubtedly impact my relationship. It could be a ripple effect, or it could very well be a relationship tsunami. Needless to say, Joe and I are ready to "hunker down" throughout it all.

I can't promise ridiculous shenanigans, farces, or fireworks, but I do know that if people are willing to watch "The Housewives of [Name Your City]" and "Bethany Getting Married", I might just stand a chance in hell of finding someone actually willing to follow me.

So tonight is a Thursday. If anyone knows us, you know that Thursday night is Joe's "Scotch Night". It's a very exciting time. He makes himself wait until after some designated time in his head, and then he cracks open the Scotch. He drinks two. Three if he's feeling spunky. I, of course, feel it absolutely necessary to have a glass or two of wine along with him. What can I say? It makes me jovial.

For example, while watching "The Policewomen of Memphis", my hubs makes the astute observation that one of the women "runs like a girl". Duh. Nevertheless, I feel it necessary to bring up the fact that he has ugly things to say about women who "walk like men". Hrmmm.

What an oxymoron.