Sunday, August 28, 2011

A Metaphor

For many years, I've had this metaphor swimming around in my head. As far back as college I can recall bouncing the idea off of friends, and even examining them as shining examples of said metaphor. However, the other day at work, as I was expounding upon it to one of my colleagues, I finally felt validated in it enough to put it down on paper. Er...in cyberspace?

So here it is: Women date/search for a mate like they shop. The minute I said this, my coworker said, "Oh, you are so right! I'm gonna steal that." Well, consider this my copyrighted idea. :)

So back to it. Women look for men in the same way they shop. I have met so many women who this can be accurately applied to, and I challenge my female friends to examine their own habits and see if they concur with my assertion.

When I was in college, I knew too many girls who loved shopping while I loathed it. They would drag me from store to store, modelling various outfits, trying on anything and everything indiscriminately. After all, how do you know something doesn't work for you if you don't even try it on? But the hunt for that perfect fit was such a varied venture.

I had one friend who would try on something at every store, stowing each item behind the counter with the clerk, promising to come back for it by the next day. She would then determine the best deal and get one item she wanted on her way out of the mall. She definitely kept her options open.

I knew another girl who was a complete impulse buyer--she'd drop a hundred bucks on a pair of shoes and cry "Buyer's Remorse" as she was wearing them out of the store.

Then there's the friend who wore the same old boring pair of khakis to every event, refusing to invest her time or money on anything else because they were "so comfortable." If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?

And me. I tend to shop alone. I have never been the type of person who liked looking randomly through stores, searching high and low for the best deal. If I know I want a specific pair of jeans, I will find out the store they are in and I'll drive over and get them. Sale or no sale. I don't cruise by other stores, I don't window shop. I make a beeline for the pair of jeans I want. This most likely explains why I went on EHarmony to snag my husband. The downside to shopping at EHarmony? It took three years to find the perfect fit. Internet dating misled me.

You see, I went from shopping at my favorite store to shopping online. And that falls in line with my theory exactly. After all, who hasn't ordered something that looked super cute online, only to find that in reality it's too small, too large, or crawling up your butt in the worst way? And the sorriest part is, you've exposed all of your information to the net in one fell swoop. Double whammy.

Not to mislead anyone. I eventually ended up with the perfect fit. It just took three years of shopping around. Which was a huge departure from my usual methods, but nevertheless worked out. Joe is like that. Comfortable, fun, and he makes my ass look good. What more could a girl ask for?

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