Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The latest craze for the cuckoo

So I have an obsession lately, and I thought I would share.
A match made in heaven...

It's watermelon.  That's right.  Scrumptious, delicious watermelon.  I can eat this whole thing in one sitting.  The only thing that prevents me from doing so is a small modicum of shame.  I'm sure that by evening time I will get over that and I'll eat the other half.

Yep, that's right...I have already eaten half of this today.  After I made a special trip to HEB for it because I was out.  Which was, apparently, a watermelon travesty.  I didn't realize until I found myself behind the steering wheel and out on the rain-slicked mean streets of the Mahatma Ghandi District (yeah, that's where I live.  It's on the street signs even though half of them are written in Korean.  Or they might be Vietnamese--I really don't know.) that watermelon travesties were even a thing.  But I have a lot of time on my hands, so I can make a big long production out of almost anything.

And that magical substance next to it?  Trechas Chili Powder.  A friend introduced me to it.  We then introduced it to a slice of watermelon, and forged a relationship that only the end of watermelon season will be able to break up.  And what a sad day that will be.  Joe, of course, thinks I'm gross because it's salty stuff on fruit, and "that's wrong."  It doesn't compute for Joe.  He just can't appreciate the beautiful complexity of this pairing.  Just like blueberries and pear slices in salad with blue cheese and basalmic vinaigrette.  Which is utter and complete madness, in my opinion.

Instead of holding this unfounded prejudice against him, I just make sure that I consider that fact when it's watermelon time in the McDonald household.  That means when I slice up the watermelon I sprinkle the Trechas liberally all over it.  This ensures that all of my precious watermelon remains mine.

That's right....All mine.

Friday, July 6, 2012

The return of the disappearing woman...

Now you see her...now you don't...no, wait, now you do!  I don't mean to play this game, but in case you didn't get the memo, writing can be hard.  Even for those of us who love to do it.  As clever as I believe I can be, when I'm not practicing, it seems to really get away from me.  And sometimes I wonder if anyone really cares except me?  I mean, I don't blog about stuff you might want to "pin."  I just blog about myself, and, to be honest, sometimes I'm even bored.  And I'm my biggest fan.

So now that school is out, and I am a woman of leisure for the next month (don't hate), I have decided to sharpen the saw by getting back into the swing of things and sharing (or as Joe undoubtedly believes oversharing) everything with you people.  All five of you who faithfully read my posts.  You know, my true friends (and let's be honest, mostly family members).

After working through Stages 1 through 3, I can sit pretty for a while before succumbing to Stage 4.  And trust me, I'll need to wallow in this part for a bit because I have big changes a-comin'!  Joan Didion wrote a beautiful memoir called The Year of Magical Thinking chronicling the year after her husband's death.  What a title.  And even though I cannot imagine that year for her, I can only imagine the kind of mental shift one needs to adapt after such change.  On a different level, I will also be embarking on my own year of magical thinking.

The following amazing feats of mental adjustment will be taking place within this next year:

  1.  After eight years of teaching high school, I am moving districts to teach eighth grade.  In essence, it will be a lot like starting over as a new teacher since I have no familiarity with the content nor the level of rigor I can actually push on eighth graders.  I have been told that eighth grade is "the smelliest grade."  I'm looking forward to the pungent smell of AXE cologne and puberty.  But seriously, I am looking forward to the age group.  High schoolers are a lot of fun, but they believe they are so grown up.  Sometimes they have been forced to grow up so early that I wonder if they ever got to be kids.  They can be so jaded.  
  2.  Did I mention I'll be teaching Social Studies as well?  Let's not even get into that part.  It will truly require a magic trick to work that one out.
  3. Oh, and did I mention I'll be working with one of my best friends?
  4. And that I'll be in her wedding this year?  
  5. And she's making me wear yellow?
  6. Joe and I will be attempting to expand our family.  I have no idea how hard or easy that will turn out to be, but I'll be keeping you appraised occasionally as long as it can still be heart-warming and endearing rather than frustrating and sad.  Though I will venture to say tracking and timing "the necessaries" has proved to be more frustrating than fun.  The question of the month is how many times will I pee on my own hand before I master the art of taking any of the tests for fertility/pregnancy?  
  7. However, if we do successfully get pregnant, it might require some magical tailoring to get me into a bridesmaid's dress.  And I will have to wrap my brain around the fact that Joe thinks I will look like a bumblebee in the aforementioned yellow dress.
  8. Oh, and we're still trying to sell the condo.  Which I don't want to get into because I'll just start spiraling into depression.
  9. Did I mention the dress will be yellow?
So I hope you join me on my journey through my year of magical thinking.  I promise I'll actually write about it. Abracadabra!