Thursday, October 9, 2014

I Hate You, Pinterest!

I hate Pinterest sometimes.  Usually, I love it.  It has never let me down. Until tonight.  The night, of all nights, when I have to bake something for Declan's school tomorrow. True, picking a new recipe was a foolhardy choice. But Pinterest always makes everything look like such a great idea. And so easy.  Emphasis on "easy".  That was my primary objective since I don't have a whole lot of spare time on my hands these days.  What, with a tantrum throwing demon clutching my leg and screaming his new mantra, Outside! Outside! For some reason I elected to bring something pumpkiny (I'm choosing to believe that's a word. The catch?  I don't bake pumpkin anything. And so I trolled my go-to.  I found an awesome and easy recipe for Pumpkin Spice Cake Balls, I rushed to the store, shoved a grilled cheese sandwich down Declan's throat, and got to work. I am a confident cook and baker.  I knew I had this in the bag.

It wasn't easy.  The people in the comments section of the recipe stated how the recipe yielded 40 balls.  Perfect, I thought as I set to work. But I ran into a couple snags...

Behold, the six balls of shit I took over two hours to create.  I will spare you the picture of what these were supposed to look like and I certainly won't be sharing the recipe. I would hang my head in shame, but I'm too busy scraping rock hard white chocolate off my freaking palms, counters, and mixing bowl.  I now have five heinous looking cake balls, the dozen or so naked ones I couldn't bear to throw away cowering in the fridge under cellophane, about a dozen that I murdered and threw away in disgust, and now an unplanned pound cake in the oven. 

I'm not sure what bothers me most--the fact that these look like sausage balls, or that after all that work I am going to just end up putting these puppies out of their misery.

Pinterest, you finally failed me, At the worst possible time ever.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Let Them Eat Cake!

I said no to cake today.  Try not to die of shock.  I am a self-professed sugar hound.  The worst of my kind.  I actually go hunting for candy bowls and stashes in co-workers' classrooms during my conference period.  I have no problem taking the last bite, lick or morsel of anything.  So the fact that I ate my strawberries and said no to cake slathered in whipped icing speaks volumes.  In some ways this new way of eating is working.  In other ways, I'm not entirely sold yet.

So here I am, on the eleventh day of eating according to the tenets of The Primal Blueprint, and I have been debating on whether or not I will stick with it past a month.  The struggle is real, people.

1) I feel like I am not craving sweets like I normally do. As a person who loves all things related to sugar and desserts, this is huge.  I look forward to apple slices with almond butter in the same way I would look forward to a cupcake.  On day five I came back to my room from a meeting only to find that some fairy godmother had left a plate full of brownies on my desk. Making my coworker take them away without even eating a crumb was almost painful.  In contrast, the ckae today was not even that hard to pass on.  I didn't feel deprived.  I didn't feel anything about it.

2) I feel like the foods I eat are filling. Good protein makes me feel full. Period.

3) I am very aware of everything I eat. I have to plan, plan, plan. It eliminates surprises.

4) Joe already eats this way. Not that I have to because he's doing it--he's been eating primally for over two years--but it makes it easier to shop and plan meals when both people are on the same diet.

1) I have no intention of making Declan eat this way. He's a kid.  He should be allowed to enjoy mac and cheese and birthday cake.  I feel it's unfair to keep him from being able to eat cupcakes at someone's birthday party.  And, on a selfish note, it's easier.

2) It's expensive. Nuts, nut butters, organic produce, free range eggs, and grass fed meat are very expensive.  We have not taken the plunge into grass fed meats because we cannot make ourselves pay $8.99 or more per pound of meat.  Our grocery bill was upwards of $50 more than usual last week and the week before.

3) Breakfast is no longer portable. I miss the ease of the grab and go foods.  The tortilla or sandwich thin has always made running to the car to get to work easier.  I already wake up at 5:25 am to get to work on time.  I can't make myself get up any earlier than that to sit down and eat.  So, I am stuck in a rut with an egg casserole that works for me but uses eight of those expensive eggs I mentioned. Eight!

and the biggest con of all...

4) I have not lost a single pound yet. Yes, I want to be healthy. But I am 50 pounds overweight.  I want to lose.  It doesn't have to be fast, but it has to happen.  I am not gaining, but I am not losing yet, either.  It's frustrating.  It's maddening.  I attributed it to the nut butter, nuts, and cheese I was eating the first week for my snacks. The book states that this diet goes against conventional wisdom.  That you can eat the high fat foods, and by cutting the grains you will still see results.  I want to be patient, but it's hard.  I entered this week with a new plan of action:  Stick with the Primal Diet, but count points for Weight Watchers anyway.  I'm crossing my fingers for this week, but the jury is definitely still out.

But I said no to cake.  And that's HUGE.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The Biter kid is officially the piranha of his daycare room.  The first to get all eight front teeth in his first 9 months, he has been hurling himself at the kids in his classroom like a rabid little beast and snapping at them with his powerful jaws.  At least, that's what I envision.  It was bound to happen--he's been biting Joe and me for months now and no acceptable redirection or punishment seems to be yielding results.

In reality, he's done it three times in two weeks, and been the recipient of a vicious back biting which I can only assume at this point was well-deserved.  Maybe it's just a phase they're all going through?

And speaking of biting...I have been biting into way too much lately and as a result have decided to commit to trying to eat "primal" for a while and see if that shows me some positive results.  That means no gluten, grains, bread, or beans.  I'm on day three, and so far it's been okay.  I am stuck in a little bit of a rut with my breakfast and lunch, but I'm sticking with it with a lot of advice from Joe, who has been eating Primal for the past couple of years.

There have already been a couple of road bumps.  This morning I was planning on eating this delectable Pinterest find, but I forgot it.  Rather than drive to Einstein's for a bagel (which I'm salivating thinking about right now), I had a Lara Bar.  Which was yummy, but let's face it--it's no bagel with schmear.  At 2:00, when I felt the almost cosmic pull towards the vending machine and the Pop Tarts that are housed within it, I grudgingly pulled out my apple and a handful of nuts and told myself it would satisfy me.  And it almost did.

I have promised myself that if I feel great after two weeks and I'm seeing results, I will continue to do it through summer.  Between keeping myself from taking forbidden bites of bread, and my son from biting his playmates, it's turning out to be a somewhat rocky start  to the week.